tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post3515083053011944980..comments2024-03-25T02:33:41.590-05:00Comments on FemaleScienceProfessor: The Unbearable Meanness of BeingFemale Science Professorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288567883197987690noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-35264910957442068782009-04-22T08:41:00.000-05:002009-04-22T08:41:00.000-05:00Several good friends told me that they thought I w...Several good friends told me that they thought I was arrogant and unapproachable when they first met/saw me and that they are wrong when they got to know me better.<br /><br />Another funny incident:<br />On one of the long days spent in the department, while I was walking to my office at the end of the hallway, I kept absent-mindedly staring at the design patterns on the skirt of a girl who was walking towards me from the other end of the hallway. She stopped by me and explained that her shoe soles were not convenient to walk on the waxed floor of the hallway and that's why she was walking funny. I was totally surprised to have a stranger stop me in the hallway to talk about her shoes. Later it dawned on me that she probably thought that I was watching her gait.Changehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11291568318788440530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-45969687956411421552009-04-16T11:18:00.000-05:002009-04-16T11:18:00.000-05:00this is classic...how many times do think men (of ...this is classic...how many times do think men (of any age) are commanded to "Smile!" on the street by random strangers?Lindshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14695369110927662701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-4510469580765006922009-04-15T16:36:00.000-05:002009-04-15T16:36:00.000-05:00In agreement with the last comment and a few other...In agreement with the last comment and a few others, as well as what you wrote, too, FSP.<br /><br /><I>Smiling can be an appeasement gesture</I>The flip side of looking mean and not smiling enough, is smiling too much, trying to put people, even strangers, at their ease, and looking so g-d approachable that <I>no one respects you</I>.<br /><br />So I am practicing looking more distant and serious. I was discussing a corollary with another Female Science Colleague today, whereby the Female Science Grad Students we each mentor have little apparent respect for us, at least publicly in the company of others, because we come across as too "nice" and not sufficiently authoritative.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10816228341555194198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-71234694403851873502009-04-13T16:31:00.000-05:002009-04-13T16:31:00.000-05:00Ditto CPP. Also, smiling is an indicator of status...Ditto CPP. <BR/><BR/>Also, smiling is an indicator of status. Think all those models on TV advertising teen products, and smiling and waving their hair. As we progress up to Cartier, expensive cars etc, the models never smile.<BR/><BR/>So perhaps if we don't smile much it might improve our probability of tenure. .Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-41903811172195909952009-04-13T13:39:00.000-05:002009-04-13T13:39:00.000-05:00When some one orders me to smile, my reply is "Say...When some one orders me to smile, my reply is "Say something funny".zoelouisenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-36726783888534038602009-04-12T11:54:00.000-05:002009-04-12T11:54:00.000-05:00Maybe I am one of the few who does this, but when ...Maybe I am one of the few who does this, but when I am walking I sometimes debate the pros and cons of an idea back and forth with myself. I can become so involved with this that I start to gesturing quite vigorously as I argue with myself! I wonder what the little girl would have thought of that - perhaps that I was talking to my imaginary friend...NJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-24195444891752368572009-04-12T02:38:00.000-05:002009-04-12T02:38:00.000-05:00I scowl a lot when I'm deep in thought and am fore...I scowl a lot when I'm deep in thought and am forever getting the smile command - in particular from dear husband.<BR/><BR/>I never used to worry about it - until I realised I'm getting permanent wrinkles...Dionnenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-89425231239144815232009-04-10T20:25:00.000-05:002009-04-10T20:25:00.000-05:00What irks me about people who will command random ...What irks me about people who will command random strangers to "smile!" is the intrusion. It is an invasion personal space, IMO. Plus the knowledge that some random stranger you probably weren't even aware of, has been observing you closely enough to take note of your facial expression and be displeased with it, is kinda creepy....(especially when it's a guy saying it and you're a woman)<BR/><BR/>The last time some random stranger on the street commanded me to "smile!" I responded with "I just lost my job" because it was true, I had just got laid off that very day and was in a very bad mood - I was feeling a mixture of anger, resentment, panic, desperation, you name it. And here is some stranger commanding me to smile?? He looked uncomfortable and hurried away.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-9986817892619003342009-04-10T16:23:00.000-05:002009-04-10T16:23:00.000-05:00I've never had random strangers tell me to smile. ...I've never had random strangers tell me to smile. However, I have an office in a location where people often walk by my window. I have had a few people come in and ask me if I was ok or angry when I have been focusing on my work. That amused me to no end!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-85118315161867208542009-04-10T15:06:00.000-05:002009-04-10T15:06:00.000-05:00oh... maybe that is why my advisor sometimes doesn...oh... maybe <B>that</B> is why my advisor sometimes doesn't say "hi" to me? It usually makes me feel very sad...Female Science Grad Studenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05759646268933634899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-2942699499941079262009-04-10T13:42:00.000-05:002009-04-10T13:42:00.000-05:00I can't seem to win, myself. When I'm smiling, I g...I can't seem to win, myself. When I'm smiling, I get told I smile too much; when I'm not, I get told to smile. People are far, far too preoccupied with other people's facial expressions!quasarpulsehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08762550806982089851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-62538245734878476642009-04-10T08:01:00.000-05:002009-04-10T08:01:00.000-05:00Part of it may be concentration, and part of it is...Part of it may be concentration, and part of it is certainly introversion or extroversion, but part of it can be a mood disorder. My family used to call me Cmdr. Data because I never smiled or really laughed. SSRIs are Great! That said, woe betide someone who interrupts me while I'm working. And you don't even want to know the comments I've gotten for reading while walking, much less thinking while walking. ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-30538779580698124502009-04-10T01:11:00.000-05:002009-04-10T01:11:00.000-05:00I get the "smile!" thing too. It's a little aggrav...I get the "smile!" thing too. It's a little aggravating. I know it's all about getting along with other people who have a different opinion of what the default facial expression should be (the German expression looks a little angrier, maybe), but if I want to walk down the street with my German face on, thinking about Science, then I should be allowed to. I actually feel weirder walking around with a smile on, because it makes you look like you are planning something dangerous, ogling someone or just gazing mindlessly into the distance. I prefer gazing Sciencely into the distance.Evehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02264848674807433431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-25526871820116628342009-04-09T22:23:00.000-05:002009-04-09T22:23:00.000-05:00comrade physioprof, you made me laugh out loud. t...comrade physioprof, you made me laugh out loud. thanks. i must share, though, that my husband reports that he has been told to Smile! by random strangers at times in the past, just as i have. i have no data on frequency of occurrence for men vs women, but at least the occurrence is not 100% women.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-52459446304039333642009-04-09T22:16:00.000-05:002009-04-09T22:16:00.000-05:00Science folk (idle speculation) are terribly linea...Science folk (idle speculation) are terribly linear. It's part of the training to think things through from beginning to end. So you get ahold of a problem (better put it grabs you by the throat) and everything, including smiling becomes a distraction.<BR/><BR/>You husband should bring the daughter to the chicken farm and play with the two kids.....EliRabetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07957002964638398767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-45502444033534564492009-04-09T17:54:00.000-05:002009-04-09T17:54:00.000-05:00I was walking through the airport in Chicago yeste...I was walking through the airport in Chicago yesterday feeling content and slightly smiling. I was in no rush so walking slowly and enjoying the scenery. A large man walked up to me and demanded to help me because I looked "so confused". You can't win... no smile you are "mean", smile and you are "confused".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-74670845844153910482009-04-09T14:52:00.000-05:002009-04-09T14:52:00.000-05:00I've noticed a difference in smile frequency betwe...I've noticed a difference in smile frequency between people in Boston (where I lived for the past 6 years) and Atlanta (where I live now). Northeastern folks tend to walk around in a purposeful manner, sometimes with a real scowl, other times with a more neutral expression, but rarely with a smile. Southerners amble along, smile at everyone, and wish me a good morning. As someone who was raised in the South, I found Boston very unfriendly and intimidating at first. Then I got used to it, and now I'm somewhat alarmed when strangers smile at me and strike up conversations at the bus stop.Laura E. Marianihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06982191257187180735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-61124595642781392172009-04-09T14:38:00.000-05:002009-04-09T14:38:00.000-05:00Maybe the suggestion to smile is an invitation to ...Maybe the suggestion to smile is an invitation to discuss one's troubles, or more aggressively, a challenge to defend one's gloomy mood.<BR/><BR/>Still irritating if it is one's default habit to scowl, but I'd like to know, for example, whether someone is brooding or just thoughtful, and it is a delicate question to ask.John Vidalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09871768524749705799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-58068346017453747792009-04-09T14:22:00.000-05:002009-04-09T14:22:00.000-05:00Bartkid sez,Maybe he should spend less time pacing...Bartkid sez,<BR/>Maybe he should spend less time pacing and brooding and more time back and forth on a large chicken on a spring.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-31042551854687564892009-04-09T14:04:00.000-05:002009-04-09T14:04:00.000-05:00chemfan & volcanista, I think you'd apprec...chemfan & volcanista, I think you'd appreciate the article I cited (comment #3).social scientistnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-5625976015865795782009-04-09T13:44:00.000-05:002009-04-09T13:44:00.000-05:00The creepy alternative, however, is walking around...The creepy alternative, however, is walking around grinning wildly with eyebrows akimbo and eyes shining. I do this frequently, because Cool Science Thoughts just make me very happy. I have noticed, though, that when I am in this state people generally give me quite a bit of space on the sidewalk.<BR/><BR/>Try it sometime!Toaster Sunshinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10388782618295656406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-42940762951649919362009-04-09T13:34:00.000-05:002009-04-09T13:34:00.000-05:00I got that "smile more" crap a lot too. Smiling ca...I got that "smile more" crap a lot too. <BR/><BR/>Smiling can be an appeasement gesture (as you yourself found out, FSP) so when women specifically are implored to smile more, it's a commend to be more demure or as CPP says, signal we are just 'fuck receptacles.' <BR/><BR/>I always sneered whenever someone told me to smile more. It still makes me want to gag. <BR/><BR/>LaFrance's research and observations on smiling are excellent. I cite her work frequently in my courses on nonverbal communication.Field Noteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18372584643389870376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-52776958617213772322009-04-09T12:50:00.000-05:002009-04-09T12:50:00.000-05:00Between your daughter telling your husband he lect...Between your daughter telling your husband he lectures like he's angry, and this little girl telling him he looks mean ... I hope your husband hasn't come down with a complex.Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14211618861743447072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-16185001481121322042009-04-09T12:27:00.001-05:002009-04-09T12:27:00.001-05:00I've received the "smile!" command many times from...I've received the "smile!" command many times from men, even in different countries. My respond is to scowl at them, and if they continue making sexist comments, they get an offensive hand gesture. Maybe a bit strong, but so is telling a complete stranger what to do. <BR/><BR/>I tend to furrow my brow and purse my lips a bit in lab. I had no idea until I worked with one particularly cheery labmate who asked me a couple times why I was upset/angry/sad. I then realized that my "concentrating face" looked slightly angry. I try not to do that anymore, but sometimes I still catch myself really concentrating and really scrunching my face. Oh well, at least I know I'm doing my science right.Anonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12997742500689588929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-88907070424672735142009-04-09T12:27:00.000-05:002009-04-09T12:27:00.000-05:00Fuck receptacles, CPP? That phrase makes (even) m...Fuck receptacles, CPP? That phrase makes (even) me smile!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com