tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post4501762837721794916..comments2024-03-25T02:33:41.590-05:00Comments on FemaleScienceProfessor: Equally SharedFemale Science Professorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288567883197987690noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-39893085034120876562008-07-08T14:40:00.000-05:002008-07-08T14:40:00.000-05:00Disagree with #2!We've got both our children durin...Disagree with #2!<BR/>We've got both our children during both our PhDs and are still doing fine. But, yes, you are so right, I also think that what really helps are<BR/># good immune systems (of kids and self)<BR/># short cummutes<BR/># kids that like to sleep (long)<BR/>and, what you did not mention but what I think is important for researchers further down the food chain (PhDs, Post docs): <BR/>*governmental subsidised daycare<BR/> We currently struggle to find enough money to both do our Post-doc in the US *and* afford full 8/5 daycare.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03074268016093102271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-43303522958655414002008-07-03T15:42:00.000-05:002008-07-03T15:42:00.000-05:00I thought some of the couples in the shared parent...I thought some of the couples in the shared parenting article were a bit over-focused on making each spouse's obligations exactly the same... <I>equally</I> shared does not mean <I>identically</I> shared, and while of course both parents should have plenty of high-quality time with their children, and they should also share the low-quality time, there is something to be said for division of labor. I would think the point would be to divide labor and family time in a way that is efficient (maximizing everyone's quality time) and satisfactory to all parties (tasks neither party wants to do should be divided ~equally) - but not to become slaved to the idea of exact sameness, which is really no better than being slaved to traditional gender roles.Ericahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13596551107082738004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-87798011753021109152008-07-03T04:00:00.000-05:002008-07-03T04:00:00.000-05:00Those articles led me to believe that I was confus...Those articles led me to believe that I was confused as a child and thought I was really a boy (a was a girl). They implied that most women feel that it is their responsibility to do the work at home - I never internalized that social paradigm even though it is reinforced through most media outlets. My mom laughed when I told her my realization and thought I might be on to something (she is a traditional stay-at-home-mom who feels responsible for everything at home).<BR/><BR/>I suspect that's how I ended up in physics - if I had realized I was a girl, maybe I would have been discouraged by the incorrect but often propagated idea that 'science is for boys'. Pregnant with my first child and living in Germany, I am curious to see if I become trapped in the societal pressure that keeps moms out of the work place here. I will be out of work (as my contract expires) two weeks before my due date, and I have no prospects yet!AstroYogahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17400073176867653214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-62794414224411043132008-07-03T03:07:00.000-05:002008-07-03T03:07:00.000-05:00I am an American living in one of those European c...I am an American living in one of those European countries and I can tell you that it is important that this problem gets talked about. Life is not easy for working mothers anywhere, but a number of factors conspire to make it more difficult in this country than in the States. I do not have any children (yet?) and am unlikely to have any if I stay in this country. Possibly a return to the States would make it possible. However, I know that if I stay here, I will eventually face outright and explicit discrimination in hiring decisions (because I *might* have a baby and quit work).<BR/><BR/>The media needs to keep talking about these problems, because for many, many people they are not solved. And many of the changes that need to happen will have to be made by decision-makers in government and industry. I agree that some of the editorializing in the NYT article is just plain weird, but they make some important points. For instance: "It’s also true that mores have evolved in the U.S. to the point where not only is it socially acceptable for fathers to be active participants in raising children, but it’s also often socially unacceptable for them to do otherwise." In many parts of the country I live in, men who help with child-rearing are still seen as having been effectively emasculated.<BR/><BR/>As to the household division of labor -- Local bf was brought up in a thoroughly gender-divided home. In *theory* he believes in sharing household work equally. In *practice*, however, I do 70% plus, partly because he doesn't plan ahead or follow through on essential tasks, partly because he doesn't seem to notice what needs to be done, or it doesn't occur to him that *he* ought to do it (taking out trash, putting away groceries, putting dirty clothes into laundry bin).<BR/><BR/>Now back to my thesis...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-15135726553655086812008-07-02T23:38:00.000-05:002008-07-02T23:38:00.000-05:00I have something better your cats can do.http://ww...I have something better your cats can do.<BR/><BR/>http://www.citikitty.com/Facetious Studenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12535096961450638053noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-39690283381298156302008-07-02T21:23:00.000-05:002008-07-02T21:23:00.000-05:00Interesting post for me to read today considering ...Interesting post for me to read today considering the conversation I had earlier with a female colleague. I'm very new to your site as most of my blog time usually centers around women's health advocacy.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, I note some similarities, but I believe myself to be disadvantaged in academia (in my field) due to salary constraints (music faculty get paid peanuts) and tough loads. I have 20 contact hours! So, I don't feel like I am doing a good job of balancing teaching, creative actitivity and research, service, and my family. Pay off the student loans that got me the doctorate that got me my low paying tenure-track job (though it's better than the national average in my field)? In my dreams. and <BR/><BR/>Additionally, it seems as though most (all?) Universities lack a maternity policy. Oh sure you can beg, borrow, steal sick leave, but it'd SURE be more convenient if I could have a baby in June. Well, I lost my perfect timing baby.<BR/><BR/>I don't think it's impossible to find balance within academia, I'm just saying that it's pretty darned hard, and less accessible for others.<BR/><BR/>I look forward to reading more from you!<BR/>~ KimberlyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-52142407330779588732008-07-02T17:34:00.000-05:002008-07-02T17:34:00.000-05:00I have several kids, some with health problems (ho...I have several kids, some with health problems (hopefully they'll outgrow it). I have a dreadful commute. My husband has a demanding job and is out of the house for at least 12 hours a day. Don't know how I'm still in the field. Sigh.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-42082484740946773602008-07-02T14:55:00.000-05:002008-07-02T14:55:00.000-05:00Terrific suggestion for a future article. I've als...Terrific suggestion for a future article. I've also been hoping some of my dinner guests would volunteer to clean my toilet once in a while.Candid Engineerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01722793931639972423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-61827233389547000542008-07-02T11:36:00.000-05:002008-07-02T11:36:00.000-05:00as an academic, mother of a two yrs old, wife of a...as an academic, mother of a two yrs old, wife of a great guy who is out of town during the week for his job (this should have been a temporary arrangement, but it's been 2 yrs already), I think you're right. my life would be a lot easier if he were an academic. I understand there can be significant two-body problems, but at my place there's now a culture of accommodating the spouse. As an example, my dept (sciences) pays somebody's spouse's salary to work as a lecturer in the humanities! I could have never pulled it off (pay his salary to work at a company?!)<BR/>And my life would be much harder if we had a second child. But isn't it sad?! I'm glad to hear that Phdstudent was fine with being an only child, but I really benefited from having a brother, and I have a wonderful relationship with him. It bothers me that my job interferes with such a basic choice as this, and it bothers me that my child will grow up far from her extended family, and ultimately having to deal with some pretty serious stuff when her parents age on her own (we had her close to 40, so you do the math). I know dual career people in business with two kids who are managing, but frankly, they make such an incredible amount of money that they can afford a live-in au-pair AND a nanny, in addition to private school.... Basically they spend more than I make in childcare alone.chemcathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00098595895344578873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-57810253260039709342008-07-02T11:32:00.000-05:002008-07-02T11:32:00.000-05:00We've run into some little snags, mostly caused by...We've run into some little snags, mostly caused by a non-gender-neutral culture. For instance, he used to ask laundry and cleaning questions or need help because my parents expected me to help with these things more than his did (of course, this could've gone the other way, but I'm guessing it rarely does).<BR/>The biggest problem is that I have the boobs in the relationship :) , so I spend a lot more time feeding the baby than he does.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11949932116223136144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-21123919852578259112008-07-02T10:53:00.000-05:002008-07-02T10:53:00.000-05:00I think you've missed the one that's about you. Yo...I think you've missed the one that's about you. You are remarkably efficient. You use the time when you have it accomplish something substantive and have limited tendencies towards avoidance of unpleasant work and procrastination. <BR/><BR/>This is a personality trait, and it serves everyone well, but especially FSPs, who want to balance work and family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-28145673742470847832008-07-02T10:00:00.000-05:002008-07-02T10:00:00.000-05:00Sharing equally is really, really important to me ...Sharing equally is really, really important to me and it's something I'd be good at doing. It's important enough that I haven't found a partner yet.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-41743977787514109572008-07-02T09:47:00.000-05:002008-07-02T09:47:00.000-05:00Aaaah, if my cats would only clean after themselve...Aaaah, if my cats would only clean after themselves...<BR/><BR/>(I can dream.)Chellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01166348770239919217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-58155545377111245382008-07-02T09:42:00.000-05:002008-07-02T09:42:00.000-05:00I am not a fan of the NY Times. It used to be that...I am not a fan of the NY Times. It used to be that the Sports Section only had men sports in it. It is getting better.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps it is time for a Female Science Professor Newspaper!<BR/><BR/>I would subscribe.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-14594335768365207642008-07-02T09:31:00.000-05:002008-07-02T09:31:00.000-05:00I found the article mildly interesting but was sti...I found the article mildly interesting but was still shocked at how little attention was given to immigration--it was rapidly dismissed as insufficient. Hmm.<BR/><BR/>Anyhow, it's nice to hear someone who is calm, even happy, with a less-than-tidy house. I'm still battling waves of guilt. But perhaps instead I should look into increasing our feline population. It will be much easier for two or more of them to carry out the trash together.Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hydehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07005652406299754952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-56071829628102508152008-07-02T08:42:00.000-05:002008-07-02T08:42:00.000-05:00Yep - the cats are definitely slackers.Yep - the cats are definitely slackers.sandy shoeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05617376664356510015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-73503047892518083432008-07-02T06:59:00.000-05:002008-07-02T06:59:00.000-05:00I wonder if it also helps that you're both in the ...I wonder if it also helps that you're both in the same career, so there's a good understanding of what you both need and what sorts of committments are involved.JaneBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17779448611795379774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-31353599276890280012008-07-02T05:16:00.000-05:002008-07-02T05:16:00.000-05:00FSP, you give me so much hope! My boyfriend is als...FSP, you give me so much hope! My boyfriend is also a PhD-student-hoping-to-be-an-academic, and neither of us are too fussed about having more than one child...it's great to hear some success stories. (also I am the only child of two academics myself, so that helps, too...)<BR/>Thanks for posts like these - they really help.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com