tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post1588072831841579401..comments2024-03-25T02:33:41.590-05:00Comments on FemaleScienceProfessor: On KidlessnessFemale Science Professorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288567883197987690noreply@blogger.comBlogger194125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-77122215941178206982009-12-08T15:54:34.769-06:002009-12-08T15:54:34.769-06:00I am female and I do not have children because it&...I am female and I do not have children because it's just not the right time yet. I am in my mid-20's (which feels too young for motherhood, to me anyway), starting to wrap up my PhD, and facing an uncertain few years ahead as my fiance and I navigate the academic job market. We both want to have kids eventually, though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-51707547218848915142009-11-19T01:10:49.750-06:002009-11-19T01:10:49.750-06:00I am female, 25, married, and a graduate student w...I am female, 25, married, and a graduate student with a non-academic husband. We don't plan to have kids because we don't really want them, although his brother and sister both have two each and we love being an aunt and uncle. Also, we agreed before we got married that if we ever did want them, there's so many children that need adopting we'd go that route. I am surprised at the number of other women who don't want to have kids--I always felt like I was the only one!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-45704856614445075732009-11-17T01:25:25.285-06:002009-11-17T01:25:25.285-06:00I'm 32 and never wanted children until recentl...I'm 32 and never wanted children until recently. I have a highly prestigious research fellow position and also a two-body problem (my husband would love to have children) where my husband and I live far apart. I recently got pregnant accidentally had an abortion because I panicked and thought that having a child right now would kill my career prospects. I think I am right from everything I have seen (sadly I am not as good a time manager as FSP). But now I think about having children and I feel sad that academia really doesn't allow it (for me at least, congrats to those of you who have done it and done science well too.) I really love science, and my colleagues seem to think I am good at it, but I am pondering taking some time off then returning to work in a field without the insanity of the tenure clock (maybe a lower pressure field like consulting!). I think that until the realization that kids might take a few hours of your week sinks in with employers, and employeee (both men and women) have the option to be paid less for fewer hours, I really can't live up to doing both family and career well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-44114323179655897552009-11-15T12:38:08.459-06:002009-11-15T12:38:08.459-06:00I am female and 38, in a tenure track position. W...I am female and 38, in a tenure track position. We waited for a very long time (I've been with my partner for 17 years) to try to have a child because we wanted to be in reasonable financial shape, and because I had a super long (though ultimately successful) postdoc. We always wanted kids but said to ourselves that either way would be okay--there are a lot of benefits to a childless life. <br /><br />However, when we started actually trying, and having some issues, I realized that this was really important to me. We finally lucked out this year and are expecting our first child soon. I am just now coming to terms with the fact that the option to dedicate all of my free time to work will be gone, and childcare will be competing with all of my other interests. <br /><br />One other point that hasn't been discussed here: my husband is staying at home with the baby in the early years, which is going to make things a lot easier (well, not financially).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-38199218950774746132009-11-13T14:18:13.560-06:002009-11-13T14:18:13.560-06:00I'm a 32 year old PhD student, finishing this ...I'm a 32 year old PhD student, finishing this year, and have no kids. Although that would be nice for my partner and I in the future, I have had $0 stipend until this year, and racked up debt. However, as I have applied at some European schools for jobs, if I end up in Scandinavia, you'd better believe I'll be trying to get knocked up right quick, once I settle in. (This is unlikely to be the case if I end up in a US/UK position.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-18367992041437777992009-11-12T19:33:26.272-06:002009-11-12T19:33:26.272-06:00Anon12:50:"I'm surprised by the high prop...Anon12:50:"I'm surprised by the high proportion of childless respondents to this survey."<br /><br />what's so surprising about that?? I'm actually surprised that there are so many people these days who DO want to have kids - given the world overpopulation problem and the fact that there is now less "need" for people to have children. we don't all live on farms anymore requiring children to help out, nor are women bound by societal rules to be dependent on husbands for financial and social security. These and other progressive changes suggest that there should be more people tending toward childlessness since there are more lifestyle options available now (without becoming a societal outcast, I mean) than in previous generations so there are more paths than ever to living a life of personal fulfillment.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-4305938476428628832009-11-12T15:02:47.641-06:002009-11-12T15:02:47.641-06:00I am female (30 yo) and I do not have children bec...I am female (30 yo) and I do not have children because I've focused on my career and never thought I was ready. I do, however, have my first on the way - my husband has taught me the important lesson of remembering to live a little outside of work. :) I look forward to having one or two more kids during and/or after returning to grad school to get that PhD I've been planning on (but also not ready, until now of course) and then return to the work force to put it to good use.<br /><br />(I also hope it isn't too late for this response!)SunnyQhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10116060558849994175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-91615067043609748202009-11-12T12:50:46.151-06:002009-11-12T12:50:46.151-06:00I am 30 years old, 30 weeks pregnant with my first...I am 30 years old, 30 weeks pregnant with my first child, and about to start as an assistant prof at a big university. I have always wanted children, I have always wanted a career in science. I'll manage somehow, with the support of my (also scientist) husband... I know plenty of very successful female academics who have combined family and career sensibly. I'm surprised by the high proportion of childless respondents to this survey.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-30434738924073709812009-11-11T22:28:56.652-06:002009-11-11T22:28:56.652-06:00I am 38, female, unmarried, straight, and sexually...I am 38, female, unmarried, straight, and sexually active. I do not have children because I have always had access to affordable, effective birth control. In a convenient alignment of desire and fortune, I also don't want kids. But really, I don't have them b/c I am privileged and lucky.O. Frabjous Daynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-69727639582403776942009-11-11T15:19:22.477-06:002009-11-11T15:19:22.477-06:00I am a childless, 48-year-old single woman (never ...I am a childless, 48-year-old single woman (never married). I cannot remember at any time in my life ever wanting children.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-17995451043388730172009-11-10T12:18:06.701-06:002009-11-10T12:18:06.701-06:00I'm only partway down the comments, but I'...I'm only partway down the comments, but I've seen a few about minds changing in the 30s and one commenter hoping her biological clock would kick in. <br /><br />I've always understood the biological clock urge to basically be that when you see a mother with a baby or young children, you feel a primal sense of overwhelming desire to have your own. <br /><br />Mine kicked in at 34, but in reverse; on seeing a woman with young children I would feel a primal surge of overwhelming relief that that was not my life.Helen Huntingdonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13194570063379856862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-86150548369092894022009-11-09T17:34:33.084-06:002009-11-09T17:34:33.084-06:00I find it peculiar that even though the FSP posed ...I find it peculiar that even though the FSP posed this question to childless people, plenty of parents felt the need to chime in. What part of "I am [female/male] and I do not have children because.. [rest of sentence]" did the parents not understand?<br /><br />I didn't respond to the survey, but I'm a 38 year-old female behavioral science prof with tenure at a rural regional campus. I do not have children because I've never had any maternal desires. I got myself fixed 2 years ago and only regret not doing it sooner. I have a great job during the week and spend my weekends playing in a bar band, so my life is quite full.<br /><br />To Anonymous 11/06/2009 09:56:00 AM: You are so right that we childfree folks don't know our feelings about children until we have some of our own. Thank you for helping us see the light. Now you can go tell it to the people featured here: http://badbreeders.net/Skinner's Ratnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-55124721232119166752009-11-09T11:10:45.182-06:002009-11-09T11:10:45.182-06:00I'm female, 40, and don't have any kids be...I'm female, 40, and don't have any kids because I never wanted any.Helen Huntingdonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13194570063379856862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-34807082706869760822009-11-09T08:08:08.439-06:002009-11-09T08:08:08.439-06:00What a great idea for a post! Let me join in:
I a...What a great idea for a post! Let me join in:<br /><br />I am a female postdoc and I do not have children, because it has not happened yet. I guess I did not have time for it yet? During grad school – are you joking? Forget it. After grad school my relationship fell apart and I only found an appropriate guy at 30 y.o. (I did not spend too much time guy-hunting because of job-hunting/trying to postdoc/career turmoil)...<br /><br />A few years later I am in my fourth postdoc and how can I think about starting a family where all those positions are short-term and in different places? At the moment I am in Japan and my husband is in UK (and we are both from Eastern Europe) and it will stay this way for another 3 years. <br /><br />Money and immigration status problems mentioned by someone else earlier in the discussion do not help either. <br /><br />Time (or lack of thereof) is also an issue. Jobs in science are the intensive ones. I would not even consider having a dog or a cat, as I cannot give them enough of my time (but I am considering adopting a turtle).<br /><br />Even though I want to and plan to have kids (decided at the age of 31) with lack of support, family and friends, and unknown childcare options I would be crazy to get pregnant. Plus here I think it would cost me my job (and therefore the visa, but who needs the visa if they have no job?)<br /><br />So it is clearly career versus family/children dilemma.DrLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-41215720923243052672009-11-08T02:22:50.853-06:002009-11-08T02:22:50.853-06:00I am a 32 year old female postdoc and I do not hav...I am a 32 year old female postdoc and I do not have children practically because I am single (by choice) and more generally because I had a hard time myself as a child.FrauDrLOLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-13189744193128793122009-11-07T16:58:21.418-06:002009-11-07T16:58:21.418-06:00Female, 59, no children (never wanted any, nor did...Female, 59, no children (never wanted any, nor did scientist husband). No regrets. <br /><br />It's a personal choice that has little to do with my science profession. <br /><br />If you want children, don't let your career interfere. If you don't want children, then don't feel guilty (and tell the busy-bodies to butt out).DrDoyennehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01923421604660796579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-58852001304662047722009-11-07T09:57:32.172-06:002009-11-07T09:57:32.172-06:00I am female (CS PhD) and I don't have children...I am female (CS PhD) and I don't have children because neither I nor my husband wanted to have any– in part due to environmental concerns.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-82969830911334946652009-11-07T05:53:20.358-06:002009-11-07T05:53:20.358-06:00"Sweet Jesus...we have religious people on th..."Sweet Jesus...we have religious people on this blog! Hey FSP... how about you do a survey on how many religious people we have among the readers of this blog."<br /><br />Grow up, please.Isabelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-52605581720659521582009-11-06T18:02:00.541-06:002009-11-06T18:02:00.541-06:00from Anon 11/06/2009 09:56:00 AM
"...you rea...from Anon 11/06/2009 09:56:00 AM<br /><br />"...you really don't know until you have your own children, no matter how many nephews you've known or how many children you've worked with. I never liked children and I still don't like other people's children, but I LOVE mine to death."<br /><br />I couldn't agree more with this. I have a baby. I've never liked babies or kids. In fact, I am uncomfortable around them, and I totally hate how they take everybody's attention.<br /><br />Somehow, I wanted to go through the experience of having a kid (I know it isn't logic, but that's the way I felt), and I don't regret it at all. I totally adore my baby!!! <br /><br />About affecting productivity, it's hard to say so far. It helps to be in a country where you can take long maternity leaves.mathgirlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-52422376473561536622009-11-06T17:03:49.710-06:002009-11-06T17:03:49.710-06:00I am female and I do not have children because I d...I am female and I do not have children because I do not want them. I am an adjunct assistant professor with no hope of a tenure track job due to geographical restrictions and general sloth. This doesn't really influence my (and my husband's) preference against child rearing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-51784149790572819172009-11-06T16:48:16.340-06:002009-11-06T16:48:16.340-06:00I am female and I have 0 children. I am a post-doc...I am female and I have 0 children. I am a post-doc and I find it socially irresponsible to bring a child in this world without having a full time permanent (or at least less insecure than a postdoc) job.<br /><br />By the time I get such a job (if ever) I may be too old... I am not even sure how I feel about that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-19357208891057580122009-11-06T15:32:03.737-06:002009-11-06T15:32:03.737-06:00I am female and I do not have children because... ...I am female and I do not have children because... I'm 25 and just started a PhD in computer science (but I am married). I do want kids, and I want them before I'm 30, so I'm going to start getting serious about it after comprehensives.Gail Carmichaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14173555781667297996noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-53421339502997793942009-11-06T11:39:24.318-06:002009-11-06T11:39:24.318-06:00A great post and an interesting read for a profess...A great post and an interesting read for a professor with 'many' kids. My comment is for the one that said "I am female science professor and do not have children because my pregnancy ended in a miscarriage." Here's a virtual hug. I hope you try again and maybe think of it as the baby wasn't ready to come out and will come out when ready.Auroranoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-72609075839905493612009-11-06T09:56:20.795-06:002009-11-06T09:56:20.795-06:00I don't mean to judge anybody, but I have to p...I don't mean to judge anybody, but I have to point out that although some seem so sure they know what they're talking about, you really don't know until you have your own children, no matter how many nephews you've known or how many children you've worked with. I never liked children and I still don't like other people's children, but I LOVE mine to death.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-79809600404470329832009-11-06T06:21:29.072-06:002009-11-06T06:21:29.072-06:00I am a female who has never wanted children...it&#...I am a female who has never wanted children...it's just not for me. I never played house, never played with dolls, never wanted to be a mother. Everyone told me "you'll change your mind" but I haven't and won't. I have nothing against other people's children and I am a favorite aunt but I just don't want any of my own. I teach, coach, mentor, so I'm not a selfish bitch, I just have other plans. <br /><br />It frees me up to a large extent to make career and personal decisions, but I resent the automatic assumption that I WILL have kids at some point,"Well that's fine for now, but when you have kids you won't be able to..." and now that I'm applying for jobs, I'm just telling search committees straight up that I'm childfree by choice.Sciencegrrlnoreply@blogger.com