tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post1760471262186304629..comments2024-03-25T02:33:41.590-05:00Comments on FemaleScienceProfessor: Passive-Aggressive Control-Freak Slacker AdvisorFemale Science Professorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15288567883197987690noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-54440612852831473472007-03-25T22:46:00.000-05:002007-03-25T22:46:00.000-05:00anonymouswomanprofessor,I was with you up until yo...anonymouswomanprofessor,<BR/>I was with you up until you called yourself a bitch. You need to get over calling yourself that. <BR/><BR/>anonymous who wants more advice from advisor,<BR/>Ask *specific* questions. For example, present some figures that you think are publication quality, and ask if they really are. Most professors I know make this mistake over and over: they say nothing until the paper is in preparation, and then they come down HARD, when they should have been giving advice all along. I think it's a combination of not wanting to always be in Paper Mode, which these days can be depressing, and a kind of passive-aggressive mentality in the sense that some really do hope the student will just magically grow out of it, without any guidance whatsoever. Some of them really do think that good scientists are born, not trained... which is ridiculous, of course.<BR/><BR/>anonymous whose advisor flakes a lot,<BR/>That sucks. And I have had this problem before. The best you can do is camp outside the office door and make your presence known. Try to make your meetings efficient- have everything prepared, rehearse your rapid-fire questions, so if you only get five minutes in the hallway, you can get some information without having to have a scheduled meeting all the time. Other options include things like documenting your requests and their flakiness; going through administrative assistants to make appointments or asking them to act as live reminders; reminding incessantly (the week before, the day before, the morning of) to make sure you aren't scheduled over.<BR/><BR/>borat,<BR/>advisor-student relationship is more like parent-child than marriage, I think.Ms.PhDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11050354864577547294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-56569716937660539682007-03-20T23:02:00.000-05:002007-03-20T23:02:00.000-05:00Advisor-student relationship is like marriage, rig...Advisor-student relationship is like marriage, right? It takes time to adjust to one another and the relationship has its ups and downs just like real marriage. The only difference is the lack of sex and once you graduate you start missing each other soo badly(like divorce)..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-83681337840125250992007-03-19T13:01:00.000-05:002007-03-19T13:01:00.000-05:00That sounds like a professor I deal with who answe...That sounds like a professor I deal with who answers his phone during scheduled meetings. Not just an important call he was especially expecting, but any call can end our meetings at any time. I hate that.EcoGeoFemmehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11236907917990309659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-73714148032340004922007-03-19T10:51:00.000-05:002007-03-19T10:51:00.000-05:00It sounds as though you are doing a fine job as an...It sounds as though you are doing a fine job as an advisor. Being calm with and accessible to your students are important decisions and will certainly be valued by your students.<BR/><BR/>However, I think it also okay to ask your students what they think of the balance you are attempting to strike and to listen carefully to their answers. If they are honest with themselves, they'll tell you if they need more or less advice/help while also recognizing that you may have valid reasons for disagreeing with their assessment. -But by asking, at least you'll know what they are feeling and get a general sense of how you are doing.<BR/><BR/>I had an advisor who considered himself available to his students and considerate of them. However, this same advisor routinely missed scheduled meetings, began each meeting by telling me how busy he was and would interrupt me mid-sentence to read incoming email (!)but thought me overly emotional when I finally ventured to protest his inconsiderate treatment. I wasn't heard or valued and yet he thought he was doing a good job.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-16524111673812634832007-03-19T05:02:00.000-05:002007-03-19T05:02:00.000-05:00How would you handle it if your advisor does not s...How would you handle it if your advisor does not show up for meetings but does not tell you in advance. My advisor flakes out on at least 40% of our meetings?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-22614818987315665652007-03-18T21:44:00.000-05:002007-03-18T21:44:00.000-05:00So, to everyone out there with perspective on the ...So, to everyone out there with perspective on the mentor-(grad) student relationship: <BR/>I never (very rarely) get any criticism from my advisor. I'm sure some people wish they had this situation, but it leaves me feeling like I have no idea what she thinks of my work or expects. I know I'm not so perfect that there isn't need for improvement at this point. Advisor is great generally and willing to help when requested, but my sense is that 1st year grad students don't always even know what questions they should be asking. Any advice on how to get my advisor to really tell me what she thinks of my work, toward the end of improving quality/learning the academic world ropes? I don't need to be told what to do nor seek a lot of affirmation, but some feedback occasionally would be nice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29059245.post-64498901259956823722007-03-18T17:44:00.000-05:002007-03-18T17:44:00.000-05:00There are days when I wish I was a trained therapi...There are days when I wish I was a trained therapist... <BR/><BR/>I have bawling students who have come to see that they are not great researchers and are on the verge of a nervous breakdown, have relationship problems, sudden pregnancies, HIV infections, etc. etc. I send them off to find their own therapists and doctors, I pretty much get everyone through. <BR/><BR/>But sometimes it really scares me, like the time a woman asked if she could delay her thesis to have her baby - I said yes, of course, and she sighed in relief: I would have hated to have to abort this child. <BR/><BR/>But I am open up front: For an undergraduate degree, I am pushing - I want to see them every week with something written & questions for a short time, I will use my red pen on everything, ripping up misspellings and inconsistancies as I encounter them, asking painful questions as I go. It is a kick in the seat of the pants, every week.<BR/><BR/>All say that they want this. The good ones soon get a longer leash - every other week is fine. Cancelling appointments leads to me not giving out appointments any more. Not showing up with anything prepared leads to me getting loud and throwing them out of my office. That tends to avoid repeats. <BR/><BR/>I find spelling this out up front makes my position very clear.<BR/><BR/>Grad students and the odd excellent undergrad come for bull sessions - I *love* these, as we kick around interesting questions in our field. These are the times I live for, this is one of the reasons I'm doing this.<BR/><BR/>Sure, I'm a bitch - but I'm open about it. And it works.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com