Monday, November 03, 2008

FSP: The T-Shirt

Wondering what to get that special colleague or relative for the next gift-giving event? Already given a chainsaw wood carving of a bear and a custom-made bobble-head doll? Now you have some new options for strange and semi-useless gifts to acquire via online shopping: FSP logo mugs, T-shirts, and mousepad (no socks, alas).

Why have I created these FSP logo items? Was my thirst for commerce not slaked by the FSP Book? There is no good answer, but if I were forced to come up with something, my best guesses would be:

(1) I was inspired by a friend who likes to go into bars and diners in remote and somewhat conservative areas of the country wearing T-shirts that say things like "This is what a feminist looks like." With an FSP logo shirt, he can be true to his convictions and yet not be such a focus of hostile stares and poor customer service; and/or

(2) In this pre-election time, I find myself in extreme need of distraction;

(3) I was feeling tired and was slumped on a couch with a couple of large and sleepy cats who did not want me to move. I reached for my laptop.. and had an idea.. and

voila,

FSP: The Mug was created.

Note that in addition to the FSP logo items, I have also created an even more aesthetically pleasing no-logo graph paper T-shirt. And not only that, but there are Options: graph paper on front of shirt, graph paper on back of shirt, or graph paper on back and front (my personal favorite).

A friend who provided advice on this project noted that, given that FSP brand-recognition is perhaps not so huge*, the mysterious letters FSP on a shirt might inspire some strange questions because people could just make up anything, even something offensive, for what the letters stand for. In fact, I think that would be excellent.

In my youth I used to wear a T-shirt with a 3-letter abbreviation on it, and I never tired of making up random explanations for what the letters stood for. It was amazing what people were willing to believe. So.. have fun -- I am FSP, and so can you.


* My competitors:

FSP is one of the biggest manufacturers of power supplies in the world.
FSP (File Service Protocol) is a file transfer protocol.
FSP is Finite State Process (a Java programming tool).
FSP Books & Videos sells products related to fire, police, and emergency medical services.
FSP (Free State Project) is "an effort to recruit 20,000 liberty-loving people to move to New Hampshire" (from their webpage, it seems that liberty-loving people must love guns).
FSP (Financial Services Professionals) is a group of stressed out people right now.
FSP is the airport code for St. Pierre and Miquelon.
Others: Freedom Socialist Party, Fiber Service Platform, Freeway Service Patrol, Full Service Provider, Forest Stewardship Program, Family Support Plan, Fragment Simulating Projectile, Financial Sustainability Plan, Female Sex Partner, Full Scope Polygraph, Flash Streaming Player, Failure Simple Path, Foreign Service Pay, Fuel Storage Point, Folsom State Prison.. (there are of course many more).



26 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am trying to buy the graph paper shirt right now and am wildly excited in a super- nerd kind of way that I might be the first person to own one.
I predict brisk sales among geeks in the know.

Anonymous said...

No disrespect intended Ma'am, but Isn't this getting a bit too much?

Female Science Professor said...

yes!

Stephen Colbert said...

I am FSP, and so can you.

But are you America?

friday afternoon writer said...

Oh! Excellent for the coming up gift-giving scene! Now at least my boyfriend will know what to get me. A t-shirt to aspire too...

Anonymous said...

These items would be great in the lobby of the theater of the opening of your Broadway play. Get working on it!

Comrade PhysioProf said...

A friend who provided advice on this project noted that, given that FSP brand-recognition is perhaps not so huge*, the mysterious letters FSP on a shirt might inspire some strange questions because people could just make up anything, even something offensive, for what the letters stand for. In fact, I think that would be excellent.

You rang? Fucking Salacious Pulchritude!

Anonymous said...

Oven gloves!
We want FSP oven gloves.

Female Science Professor said...

I knew you would not disappoint. I did not expect you to have any trouble with "F", but I was curious as to what you'd do with the other letters. Thanks!

Female Science Professor said...

Should the Broadway play come before or after the dramatic mini-series on a cable channel?

Azzy said...

(delurk)

With episodes of "South Park" declining in quality in recent years (I've only found a handful of recent episodes to be funny), the first thing that came to mind when seeing the letters "FSP" is "F*ck South Park".

Endlessly amusing :-)


(relurk)

Anonymous said...

well, this blog has now lost any credibility it had for me and I think I will be moving on.

Anonymous said...

It's hard to believe that the previous anonymous stuck it out through kitten X getting tenure, only to lose interest in your blog over these excellent tshirts!!

Female Science Professor said...

The T-shirts and/or the mugs may have been the tipping point. Maybe after tomorrow we will all be sane again?

Anonymous said...

just thought I'd take this moment to mention how much I have enjoyed having my hard copy FSP book these last months! It's just so much more satisfying to me to read something with pages. Don't ask.

I think I'll put the mug on my wishlist... :) Or perhaps I should wait until I actually am an FSP first...

Anonymous said...

female social psychologist. yay! imaginative no. true yesssss!

Anonymous said...

I will not be content until there is an ENTIRELY graph-papered t-shirt...

Female Science Professor said...

Those already exist. My husband has one. They are ubiquitous. Granted, they are not T-shirts, but casual professional short-sleeved buttony shirts. I saw 5700 of them at the last conference I attended. Boring.

Shriram Krishnamurthi said...

omg you sold out!

Btw, I'm surprised by all these pretend expansions for FSP and that you're doing nothing to quell them. It stands for Free Sarah Palin, no? Accept no substitumications!

Female Science Professor said...

Other possible explanations:

- I am trying to redistribute wealth.

- I checked on how my retirement account is doing.

Anonymous said...

[i]The T-shirts and/or the mugs may have been the tipping point. Maybe after tomorrow we will all be sane again? [/i]

No. more reasons please :)

Female Science Professor said...

I had twinkies for brunch on Sunday.

Average Professor said...

I dig the just-graph-paper tee, but why is it only available in the dude cut? No cute babydoll tee with just graph paper?

DuWayne Brayton said...

So I came over from DrugMonkey, after learning you lost a reader because of these spiffy tee-shirts. Loathing pretentious asshats, I figured you could use a new reader. While I may not raise the bar on the quality of your readership, I'm not a complete jackass.

In my youth I used to wear a T-shirt with a 3-letter abbreviation on it, and I never tired of making up random explanations for what the letters stood for.

This is exactly why I wish I could afford one. At thirty three, I am still juvenile enough to get a kick out of doing that. Only now I have a really bright six year old to help me figure some out.

Folsom State Prison

This would probably be my more common response to queries, with the exception of the truth. The truth of course being much more amusing to explain.

"So you're wearing the tee-shirt with a logo of an obscure blogger, you only occasionally read? Why?"

"Because science is sexy and her gear is the sexiest of the scientists I like to read."

"But didn't you just say that you prefer to read about studies and, you know, science news?"

"Yeah, but her gear fucking rocks."

"But you don't really read her that often, right?"

"No, but her gear fucking rocks."

It makes me wonder, does cafe press do onesies?

Ms.PhD said...

Good lord, this is what you do when you're TIRED?

Don't you ever SLEEP???

I like the idea, but I rather wish you had it actually spelled out.

And someday I hope to wear a shirt that says "This is what an FSP looks like"

migratingfishswim said...

very nice!

sadly where i live, it's t-shirt weather for about three months of the year. the rest of the time, your cool logo will be hidden.

how about something to wear/use in the cold?