Monday, July 19, 2010

My class is like the melodie that's sweetly play'd in tune

A colleague of mine recently got an e-mail from a student with a question about the Science Class For Non-Scientists that he will be teaching in the fall. The student wondered:

"what is your class like?"

I am sure that my colleague wrote back (or will eventually write back) with some information, although it is not clear exactly what the student wants to know.

It occurred to me that it would be fun to think up fake answers to this question, using the simile construction "my class is like..".

These answers would not be of the sort that would be appropriate to send to a student wondering whether to take your class, unless your purpose is to discourage enrollment and/or let the student know in advance that you are a bit strange. No, the purpose of this is just for fun.

You need not use a simile from a poem, novel, song, or movie, but you can. You can also make up your own entirely new simile. It need not even make sense, not even to you, but ideally it will capture some aspect (tangible or not) about your class. Examples:

My class is like a glass labyrinth.

My class is like a drunken nematode.

Go wild, like rabid lemmings in a world without cliffs.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

My class is like a staggering, drunken malaise mingled with a concussion.

Anonymous said...

My class is like the rush of wind past the unruly hairs of a coconut as sways merrily in the grip of an African swallow.

William said...

My class is like the swift and powerful Komodo dragon. It will put you on the path to becoming the dominant carnivore/academic of a small island in the Pacific ocean of knowledge.

jyby said...

My class is like an improvisation match between the two (or three) personalities of my schizophrenic self, where the audience is encouraged to participate.

gasstationwithoutpumps said...

When in doubt, use Google. Google completions are an excellent way to get associations. "class is like" didn't get any completions, but "is like a " got a nice set

my class is like a
verb
preposition
linking verb
g6 on itunes
melody in my head
storm a christian band
box of chocolates
day without sunshine

Comrade PhysioProf said...

My class is like if you had twelve dicks, and you hammered twelve rusty nails through each one.

(This is a reuse of a simile that occurred to me when I was sitting through the Live GLEE show at Radio City Music Hall.)

Anonymous said...

My class is like diving into a pool of cool, clear water... only to resurface covered in algae.

unlikelygrad said...

5/6 of the classes I've taught to date have been labs, leading me to think:

My class is like a bunch of cats confronted with a bed of catnip.

unlikelygrad said...

5/6 of the classes I've taught to date have been labs, leading me to think:

My class is like a bunch of cats confronted with a bed of catnip.

Trabor said...

My class is like a spoon caught in the garbage disposal.

(The correct answer according to a student who asked me this very question: it is an easy A).

99% said...

My class is like a black hole - it will initially pull you in, then tear your feeble mind and soul apart, and finally never let you escape.

Anonymous said...

my class is like a bad simile.

Class Like Sellotape Lyrics said...

If trying to recruit from the current generation of undergrads:

My class is like text messaging, but faster because we use talking instead of thumb typing.

My class is like an iTunes app, except useful.

My class is like medical marijuana, because sharing knowledge with your less prescribed friends makes it even better.

Is Like Boinking Comrade PhyioProf... said...

...it doesn't last as long as advertised.

...it's really easy, but leaves you with VD.

...if you get too into it, you'll surely end up in psychotherapy.

...it involves lots of swearing and anger. Then it ends. Very awkwardly.

This said...

My class is like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, but with closed-toed shoes.

john Lawler said...

My class (Introduction to Linguistic Analysis, which I don't teach any more, since I'm retired now) was given the name "Orgo for language" by the students. Since I never took a chem class in college, it took me a while to understand that that meant it
a) was demanding
b) was full of strange new things
c) required people to fool around with data
d) was basic to a lot of subjects
e) was fascinating (though only for the right people)

Lorelei said...

My class is like a sampler, my class is like a LEGO tower, my class is like a 3D spiderweb of ideas, my class is THE MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION IN THE UNIVERSE, but you have to work to understand it.

Bagelsan said...

My class is like a black hole - it will initially pull you in, then tear your feeble mind and soul apart, and finally never let you escape.

...but not, in any way, illuminate? ;p

(I'm not being helpful.)

Jaraxle said...

My class is like an episode of Connections.

Anonymous said...

My class is, like, awesome. Totally.

queenrandom said...

My class is like the Mandelbrot set etched in leaves.

My class is like a dance club, where I am the devil-DJ.