According to a gender-in-science expert at Stanford, Londa Schiebinger, who is quoted in a Nature feature:
..nirvana for married scientists in academia is two faculty (tenured or tenure-track) positions at the same institution or in the same area.
My husband and I are very aware that we are lucky -- we were hired as professors at the same university, each with a tenure-track position (now tenured), at the same time. We had a bi-coastal commuter marriage for years and we managed, but being together in one house and both having the careers we want is truly a great thing. However, I did not know that we had reached nirvana itself.
I hope I don't sound ungrateful for having my own tenured position and being able to live in the same house as my husband, but I think it would be nice if nirvana were a lot more nirvana-esque.
If the 2-body problem in academia is ever solved in a major, national/international way, will this simultaneously solve the respect problem many of us face on a day-to-day basis because it will increase the number of women science professors? Or does the respect problem need to be solved first, thereby paving the way for the rest?