Wednesday, January 02, 2013

Fake CV#2

Here's another one. If the author wants to claim authorship in a comment, they are of course welcome to do so. I should have mentioned that yesterday. Some people indicated this information with their submission, and some didn't.

This one clearly has a few Issues, and I don't mean the unconventional education history. Can you spot them?



Prof. A. Lex, Lutheran University

Education:
2001: PhD in physics, Phoenix State University
Thesis advisor: S. A. Ruman
Thesis title: Computation of the band structure of a 3-ring conjugated gold compound
1994: MA in physics, Phoenix State University
1989: BA in physics, UC Surf Board (minor in recreation studies)
1984: Associates of Arts Degree, Recreation Studies, Miami Beach Community College

Academic employment history:
2010-Present: Associate Professor of Physics, Lutheran University
2004-2010: Assistant Professor of Physics, Lutheran University
2001-2014: Postdoc, Asgard University (Mentor: Prof. Lo Quy)
1998-2001: Adjunct Lecturer (part-time), Arkham College

Publications:
1) Theoretical publications: Over 100 articles posted on vixra
Selected publications from peer-reviewed journals:
A. Lex et. al., Antarctic Journal of Theoretical Physics, "Density functional calculation of acoustic phonon dispersion in kryptonite", v. 13, pg. 666-669 (2009)

2) Experimental publications:
A. Lex, S. A. Ruman, Journal of Astrological Optics, "Laboratory detection of a 1.0 solar mass star in vicinity of earth", v. 48, p. 1516-1523 (2001)
*Paper retracted when an error was discovered in the filters used to block stray light from the windows.

3) Additional Publications (not peer-reviewed):
A. Lex, "Unclogging the PhD pipeline: Lessons from one mentor's experience", Annals of Improbable Research, v. 42, p. 13 (2011)

Teaching award:
- Most-improved Teaching Assistant, Phoenix State University (1996)

Mentoring accomplishments:
-Of 9 grad students supervised, all 9 have left with a Master's

Committee service (selected):
2010: University Committee on Faculty Conduct
-In collaboration with a faculty member from the law school, I helped the committee parse the difference between "proof beyond a reasonable doubt" and "preponderance of evidence."
2008: Department Budget Committee
-As a result of my efforts, the university has initiated twice-annual audits of the Department's finances
2005: FEMA Science Advisory Committee (member)

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is hilariousness! The committee service narratives were awesome, including the retracted paper was clearly a winning move, and the "additional publication" title was fantastic...love.

KK said...

Problem areas:
- "Recreation studies"
- Typo in postdoc years OR it involved a time machine.
- Retracted paper. ouch.
- ALL of grad students left with masters? Ouch.
- Vixra?

Maybes:
- Most improved TA means they sucked initially?
- I like the idea of including a mentoring publication but calling it "non-peer reviewed" is putting an unnecessary negative spin on it?

mOOm said...

No comments? It's hard to tell here what is meant to be just silly or a problem - for example astrology. The only obvious thing is including a retracted paper on the CV.

Alex said...

Doh! I made a typo on the postdoc years.

And, yes, vixra is real: http://vixra.org/

Davie Yoon said...

Title suggestion: way too much information

GMP said...

This seems to be the CV of a pretty sinister faculty member -- Arkham College (Arkham Asylum is where the criminally insane are kept in Batman's Gotham City), Asgard (Thor and Loki's birth place -- postdoc advisor LoQui :), page number on a publication 666

mOOm said...

Oh, I assumed ViXra was just meant to be ArXiv. Didn't realise there was such a thing.

mathgirl said...

Hilarious!!! I love the word play with the name and the affiliation! And the PhD supervisor and thesis title combo is great! My favorite is the title of the experimental publication...

Anonymous said...

poor Superman. Lex Luther has so much training and expertise.

Alex said...

Lex Luther has so much training and expertise.

He's a Phoenix!

Anonymous said...

Arkam is the location of Miskatonic University, which sponsored the famous ill-fated expedition to the Mountains of Madness (http://www.miskatonic-university.org/squids/). I would assume that Arkham College is the less prestiguous "party" university in the same town, much as is the case with Cornell University and Ithaca College (I will leave it to the reader to decide which is which in this analogy).

Ali said...

Did nobody else catch the criminal/fraud history? Pretty obvious *why* he was talking to the Committee on Faculty Conduct about proof standards...also the finances.